So am I virtuous?
So I’ve been dating this guy for about a year. We live in different towns and see each other on the weekends. I can live with that. We have alot in common, grew up in the same town, our families know each other, we both have sons, we work together, have the same ideals, most of the time, to bad we can’t agree on a baseball team. Will our living situations change? Well that would be grand, but he stays put because of his son. I can’t say that I blame him and one of the things that I love most about him is what a great dad he is, so I could never ask him to change where he is, it would destroy his son.
I know, I know, I’ve heard it all, an adult relationship should come first. Does this guy really want you or is he stalling? You know there are other men out there. Well sure there are, but I don’t want other men, I want him. Does it make much sense? A lot of the times no, but I don’t pretend that everything in my life is sane and rational. Anyone that knows me, knows that is a truth for me. So maybe this thing with him is totally nuts, I don’t really care, I want him and someday I will have him. Patience is a virtue right?
BUT throw in the mix this other guy at work (No I don’t know what it is with me and guys from work.) Really funny guy, works hard, plays hard, my age, no kids, likes to hunt and fish, would meld into my family well. He appears to be interested in me. I have been laying my best rap on him for ages now, and nothing. So why do I care? Why do I bother? It is obvious that he just likes to flirt, yet I continue to torture myself wondering if I should be making a stronger move.
Ok, I can play it safe, stick with the weekend guy, he is devoted to me in his own way. He drives up here and spends EVERY weekend with me. Could it be everyday of my life? Sure, but you know, I have this tendency to move too quickly with relationships so this probably isn’t a bad thing for me. For the first time in my life I am pretty much independant (I look to mom and dad for help now and then) and I don’t rely on J (weekend guy) for anything but emotional support. I am buying a house on my own, pay my own bills, the whole nine yards. I would honestly be lost without him though when it comes to emotions. I have matured SO much in the past year, most people wouldn’t recognize me. He helps me be zen when I want to be flipping out all over the place. There is always a word of wisdom or two when I need advice, in a helpful, thought out way, rather than condescending.
I mean, this is the guy that knocked me off my feet the first time I met him right? So yeah, I’ll stay, I’ll wait, I’ll like living alone (I actually do like living alone right now). I’ll look forward to the day when his kid is grown up and I have him all to myself for the rest of my life. I know that day is coming.
Patience is a virtue right?
