So it’s been awhile since I wrote, with the holidays, I’ll have to post some craft pictures later, but today I want to write about expectant parents in the hospital.
Mostly I’m going to write about a comment on a post “And the Crap Continues” that I wrote awhile back. Thanks for the comment Amaurosis.
It was really important to my son’s birthmom that we be in the hospital when he was born. I wasn’t expecting to have that privilege at all, but I was really grateful for it. So I don’t think that paps shouldn’t be allowed in the hospital, I think that it should be however the emom wants it. After all, it’s HER birth plan and her decision about who she would like there.
That said, I am totally appalled at the what-should-we-allow questions from paps. Disgusting. But it’s not just from the paps — we actually had a nurse chase our son’s bmom down the hall and tell her that she couldn’t go to the nursery because we were there. Which was, of course, ridiculous, given that we were all happy to have time together and with the baby, and also that if anyone was going to be kicked out of the nursery, it should have been us, not her, as she was still his only legal parent at the time.
I completely agree that if an expectant mom wants pre adoptive parents there, that is fine. Sadly though, most women think it is expected of them to allow that. Agencies and attornies push the idea that pre adoptive parents NEED to be involved in everything and that it is their right because they will be the parents someday.
Which is exactly my point, they will be the parents someday. Two or three days out of that child’s life won’t hurt them to miss out on. I know FAR too many women that felt obligated to have pre adoptive parents at the hospital with them. They regret missing out on that time entirely.
As far as hospital staff go, alot of them are pretty clueless. They doctors didn’t want to tell me anything about my son after he had been moved, they believed it would be too hard for me. Nothing is going to make adoption harder than not knowing, besides I was still his mother, his only mother, I hadn’t even chosen an agency until after he was born.
Clueless I tell you, clueless.
Musings of a Crazed Belle 