Something to Say, Finally November 18, 2008

I’ve been thinking about something long and hard with the holidays coming.  How am I going to handle them this year?  Am I going to be a depressed, crying mess because I can’t have everything that I want?  No, no I am not.  I’m tired of feeling crappy from Thanksgiving to Christmas.  My kid and my first family are having fun, so I am going to as well by God.

I know, you’re thinking “But won’t you be sad”?  Well there will be twinges here and there but I am going to enjoy my crazy dad and my  mom who tries to keep him in line.  My brothers and their mouthy girlfriends.  They are cool mouthy though, like me.  I’m going to enjoy giving my cat her first Christmas present, she is getting a heated bed.  Yeah, she’s spoiled.  I’m going to have fun doing all of that.  Why?  Because I want kiddo and my first family to have fun too. 

Why shouldn’t everyone in adoption be able to have fun? I’m not saying I won’t have twinges of sadness, because I will, but I refuse to sit around and dwell on what I don’t have.  I wouldn’t ever want my son to think I was sad on holidays because of the choice I made.  Of course I miss him, but I can’t let that rule my life.  Think about my sparkling personality and what my family would miss out on, hehe.

To all of you first parents that feel like you have to be sad at the holidays, I challenge you to something.  Don’t be sad, enjoy yourself, trust me, as an adopted person, I want my first family to have a good time.  The rest of us should too.

Crackhead? Really? September 24, 2008

So, reading posts today, it has once again come up that most women that place their children are assumed to be crackheads.  One person actually had to ask how to combat that, and made the comment “most people have used at some point, who are we to judge?” or some such crap.

News Flash:  An unplanned pregnancy doesn’t suddenly force  a person to run out and start using crack.  If that were the case damn near everyone I  know would be a crack head.  Next thing:  Placing a kid for adoption doesn’t suddenly make a person use drugs.  Were there days I would have liked to have used drugs to dull the pain?  Perhaps, but you know, seeing my son succeed and being a decent human being were far more important. 

It comes back to the sinner or saint thing.  It is almost as if society has to make us out to be doing bad things, otherwise, how the heck could we place a child for adoption right?  What would make us do that?   Well obviously drug use would be a good reason.  Gee, it couldn’t simply be that women/men/couples that choose to place their child for adoption are simply trying to make the best of what is a bad and complicated situation and that they want to do what is right for their child?

The assumption that people that place are criminals of some sort just never fails to astound me.  People find out I work in the juvenile justice system and they can’t believe I passed the background check.  Why wouldn’t I?  Oh that’s right, my extensive drug use that probably led to child abuse of some sort, so I’m sure I’ve had dealings with DSS.  Yeah right.  As close as I have come to DSS dealings is when I applied for pregnancy medicaid and during an incident at my job. 

Maybe we should start having crackhead, first mom conventions.  We can get together, work the corners for some cash, get high, and then get pregnant and make more babies for people to adopt.  After all, we are inherently flawed right?  Oh, sorry, no, only inherently flawed if you’re adopted too, because we are born….  Ok I digress, whole different post and sarcasm level on that one.

So crackhead/whore firstmoms lets pick a city,  find a fleabag motel, and have a convention.  Someone make sure to find us a pimp though please because we’ll need someone to procure our drugs, since we’re all kind of dumb about, well everything huh?